What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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