You made me cry and you don't even care
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
