I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
