just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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