So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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