Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
