she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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