I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
