Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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