The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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