there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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