Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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