Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
