Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize