If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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