Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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