the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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