But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
