margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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