There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
