wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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