Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
be right there i have to get my cape
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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