just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
