Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize