The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
