is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
