hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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