oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
