i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
