JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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