you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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