hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
