So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
