and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
