Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
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You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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