I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just cropdusted the office
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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