girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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