I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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