the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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