my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
