I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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