Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
