She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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