"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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