I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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