I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
