hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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