He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
