You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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