this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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