I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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