It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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