That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
