I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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