What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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