she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize