Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize