According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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