You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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