i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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