I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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