my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
