I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
