This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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