Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize