I didn't shave. On purpose
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
her facebook's as public as her vagina
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
