what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
