I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
