unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
